ST ERKENWALD'S

The preaching was always informative and mainly generated more questions than answers. Eventually, after 6 months, the church held a candlelight service at Epiphany, the 12th day of Christmas, a time when the church celebrates that Jesus is the Light of the world. We were invited to take a candle to demonstrate that we too were part of the Light of the world. I was stunned. How could I do this? I didn’t know if a god existed even less whether he was the Light of the world. What was I to do? If I took a candle, I would have to live with my conscience saying “Supposing god is the god of a different religious group”. However, if I didn’t, anyone in the congregation might ask me why. Both options were awful. I chose to take the candle. As anticipated, my conscience would not let me rest. How could I do this when I didn’t know? If there was a god and he was not the god the Christians believed in then he would have seen this and I would be for the high jump or far worse. More than ever now I needed to know. Things became extremely difficult, I couldn’t concentrate, I went to work but couldn’t focus. My mind was completely absorbed with whether God existed and who he was. This terrible state went on for three days. I could barely sleep. By Wednesday, I admitted to a Christian at work that spiritually I was very unhappy. He arranged that we could meet after work the following week but it felt like light years away. I needed an answer. When I went home, I had visitors. I wanted them to go home because I couldn’t concentrate. After they went I decided in desperation to try looking at a Bible. I had one but it had remained unopened for the past 6 months.I read at random not knowing where to look. I came to Psalm 77.

I was relieved. Here was something written that exactly expressed my condition.After that in desperation, I simply spoke out into the air “If there is anyone there, I need to know”. To my shock and surprise I got an answer. After I was answered, I realised I hadn’t expected this. God answered my plea. This comes by revelation from Him. He showed me His name is Jesus. I turned to the New Testament. I was completely at peace. I read for hours and slept wonderfully. Obviously then I told my daughter who I had met and taught her to pray. His name is Jesus. I love Him and by His grace, always will. God says this “Seek and you will find”. He always stays true to Himself. He can be found by all who call on Him. This is my experience. I love Him. Beyond this, there are not words. If you are reading this and thinking about seeking God, don’t give up. Seek God. Speak to Him. Call on Him because He is near. He answers, He loves you, He says that he “so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” God is good. The word of God is Jesus and He is beautiful, greatly to be praised and worthy of adoration. He died to save you. He’s worth getting to know. Knowledge like this is treasure. God Himself. Wow.