What's God Ever Done for Me? - Yvonne

I attended church as a child and a teenager. There were several times when I felt that all I needed to do was to just take that step forward and give my life to God, but I didn't because I thought that I had to be this perfect person that could never put a foot wrong.

I knew in my heart that I could never be this 100% perfect person so there was no point. How could I give my life to God and never put a foot wrong? That would be impossible. So I thought to myself, go out and have some fun and give your life to God when you're an old woman.

Throughout my life God was always there in the back of my mind. I would bring him to the forefront and pray to him when I needed him to make something right for me. He always answered my prayers but I would never remember to say thank you.

I moved to London when I was 21, when I was 22 my mother passed away. I was absolutely devastated. Just when I was developing a relationship with her not just as a mother but as my friend, she was snatched away from me.

I felt much too young to lose my mother and would ask God why he took her away from me. My biggest fear as a child was life without my mother and now she had gone how would I be able to cope?

I would see pensioners who still had their mother and wish that it was me. I thought what is the point of life if you're here today and gone tomorrow? I questioned the meaning of life, if we are only here for a short while, why be here at all and cause so much grief and pain to the ones left behind. It wasn't a question I knew the answer to.

I moved to Barking in January 2005. My first grandchild was due in June 2005. My daughter had made a promise to God that if her baby was born healthy that she would attend church.

We drove past St Erkenwald's on a sunny Saturday afternoon when a “Fun Day” was in full swing. She told her father and I that was the church she wanted to go to. When my grandson was two weeks old she took him to the Sunday service. She told us that the people were very friendly and felt very touched that the vicar laid his hand over the baby's head and said a pray for him.

Two weeks later I attended the church with her to find the same friendly reception. Although I had always thought that one day I would give my life to God, I don't think I was quite ready for it when it happened.

One Sunday in September the vicar gave a strong and powerful sermon, he asked people to come to the front and give their life to God. I found that my feet were going towards the front but my mind wasn't.

Someone prayed for me but in my mind I thought that if I don't say the words it will still be ok because although I'm standing here it doesn't mean that I have to give my life to the Lord because I'm not ready yet. Then she asked me to repeat the words and I thought that's it, if I say those words there is no turning back. Before I could stop myself they were out of my mouth, that was it, I'd done it, I'd given my life to God - approximately 30 years earlier than I had planned!

So what happens now? Am I going to look different? Am I going to feel different? How is my life going to change?

Well I look exactly the same but my outlook is different. I feel different because now my attitude to life has changed. God is now number 1 in my life and I live every day for him.

My daughter and I were on the second week of attending the “Encounter God” course when I came to faith. This course had a great atmosphere and served as a tremendous help in answering all my questions and concerns.

Now that I have come to faith I understand that God gave us life and during this life we learn of his existence and have the choice of whether we want to develop a relationship with him or not.

If we choose to give our lives to him he has promised us the gift of eternal life. So yes, we are only here for a short while but whilst we are here we are given the opportunity to change this short life to an everlasting life.

There is a verse in the Bible that always makes me feel special. It puts a smile on my face to know that this is a message from God to everyone and that my brothers and sisters that I have gained through Christ also heard him calling and made the decision to answer that call:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart”,

Jeremiah 1:5